Sunday 16 November 2008

un-normal normality,vintage and big belly laughs

back to un-normal normality once again.the lights again,but with more meaning?you don't get it.i don't even get it.but i like that.we all enjoy unfamilarity,we just may not be aware of it.our lives are too structured,so when unplanned and unexpected events,feelings,emotions,people come along we must revel in them,embrace change and just sort of let it take you along.too much structure leads to a dull life,monotony.i like the changes,they are hard to grasp at first.in a new city with what felt like no-one,but i realised when you make effort it is more often than not reciprocated.it is all too easy for us to wallow in the bad things that happen to us,the devestating things and the things that nearly ruin us.but what i have discovered is much more fruitful is seeing things as they are.seeing people as they are,hearing the truth,pitying the lies and enjoying the times while they are the best they can be.i admit i have been pathetic in the past,but now feel somewhat more mature and able.we do not have to become boring along with our maturity,just able to express emotions acurately,never use blackmail,do not guilt-trip.those are the worst things.i am fast becoming aware that this flat,this view,those lights are what partly inspire me.if you do not understand,i cannot really explain.you just have to...see it.and now they understand where i'm coming from.for the first time in a long time i enjoy the distractions.but not those ones.just leave me alone,okay?i don't want trouble.i dont want a fight,hard feelings,harsh words.i just want...alone.what is done is done.reader we must remember that every action has a consequence,and if you're not a very nice person it comes back to you.i never wish anything bad on anyone,as i don't have to.i have faith enough that karma will prevail.nothing good comes of doing bad.although we all get that rush and that buzz don't we?when we do something we know we shouldn't,we have been told we certainly must not do,or say?we like the feeling.if only for a short while.we enjoy lies,secrets,no?gossip makes the world go round,but once you remove yourself from the circles where gossip is oh so apparent you realise there are much bigger things happeneing in the world,much more to see,much more to worry about,care about.see,we must not get caught up caring and worrying when it is not reciprocated.that is all to of an easy trap to fall into.so,instead,i have them,i have him,her,too.i always have those.and of course,i have the view.x

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