new blog,new beginnings

so,i'm in leeds.i have three years ahead of me and it's daunting.it is the best rushed or un-rushed decision i have ever made in my life.clearing-leeds met.the people,the atmosphere,the lights,the lights,the lights.i always thought i lived in the city,but i always had the escapes of heaton park,holcombe hill or burrs country park.i don't have that here.but then again,i have not needed an escape here.these past three weeks or so have been the happiest.i used to naively believe that the entirety of the human race relied on the knowledge that every person deep down is a "good" person,we all have a collective consensus of what is "good" and how to conduct ourselves in this way?apparently this is a distorted view,and most of us will figure this out at some point,it's visceral when it hits you.some people are deprived in ways we often dismiss.they cover their insecurity with trying to make others feel as bad as they do inside,secrets,lies,false promises and jelously.they make you think that it is you.when you relieve yourself of the no-hopers the world starts to become a very exciting place.new people,new crowds,new places,new scenery,new smiles,new laughs,new jokes,new accents,that view,those lights.contentment for the first time in a long time.i cannot stop grinning.leeds now is exciting.it's my home for the next three years and i wonder how my experiences here,the people,the places will change and shape me as a person,an adult.from now on i say 'yes'.apparently i tend to blurt "it'd be rude not to!" an awful lot.and i have a strong mancunian accent?hmm.not too sure on that one,but yes i am open to things and places and people and friends.friends,friends,friends.the sort that care yes?as i have often mixed with the sort that care more about their popularity and their facebook profile picture than if you are lying on a pavement dead!sorry state of affairs,yes.but i have made friends here that matter.they make me laugh and smile and giggle and make me want to be a friend back.and i am a "good" person inside.i know that now.i care about things,people,family.her,him,them,all of them,everyone who matters.and we don't need any fake sentiment anymore.those three words are used far too lightly.you meet a person that makes you feel completely and utterly relieved of everything,you're just you.these are the ones.manchester,i love you,i still do but some of your people are just...lacking.intellectually,conversationally,emotionally.i am stunned at the maturity yet the hilarious immaurity here.humour is back in a big way,and i am smiling.laughing along.karma exists,you have to be careful.i would kill for the upper east side,a serviced apartment,a laptop and an upper-end 'thrift store'.and you only get one chance.as she says "money is just that.it is irrelevant in the scheme of things.time is precious and the memories are.if money can buy us time and moments then it is worth every penny.every penny of debt,well spent".true words.we get too stuck on the little things,don't we?feelings and experiences are what matter.these years are the most important,influential,poinyant.we must live,forgive,forget and bask in our "good" selves.the bad ones will lose.because,that's how it works.live to ian brown's words...forget everything and remember,for everything a reason.f.e.a.r.for now,x